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Before I Die | Jenny Downham

Rating: ★★★★☆

Before I Die

Tessa Scott is dying, and there’s some things she’d really like to get to before she does. Ideas scribbled everywhere around her room. On the wall. On scraps of paper. Her best friend, Zoey, thinks she should gather them together, make a real list, get on with it. Anything’s better than lying about in bed all day. And as much as Tess would like to disagree, she eventually comes to realize she has two choices. Get on with living or get on with death. And since her life has already been cut short, isn’t making the most of the rest of it the best plan?

The list is not necessarily the kind of thing a parent would love. In fact, Tessa’s pretty sure that her dad will hate most of it. But it’s her life. And she wants to get to experience it. After all, what’s the worst that can happen?

Of course, making up one’s mind to go through with something so big and actually doing it are different stories. And when Zoey comes to collect her for their night out, where they intend to take care of number uno–sex–Tess isn’t so keen to leave the house. Nor is her dad keen to have her out late. Zoey cares about neither objection, and off they go. It’s not exactly everything Tessa was hoping for. In fact it might be nothing she was hoping for. But it’s still one off the list. And it’s a start. Which might make it easier to keep going. But nothing can make it easy.

Her relationships are strained at best. Her father is at wit’s end. Zoey comes and goes. She meets the neighbor boy, after a long stretch of watching him through the window, only to get close, push him away, get close, push him away.

The day she decides to say yes to everything lands her in a river, and afterwards in hospital. Her wish for fame leads to a radio interview where she divulges some details her father could have done with out. But once she’s really made up her mind to go out on her own terms, there’s certainly no stopping her.

Not the easiest story to read, in terms of sunshine and happy times, but it’s certainly well worth the read. Tessa is someone to aspire to, when all is said and done.

Notes from the Midnight Driver | Jordan Sonnenblick

Rating: ★★★★½

Book Jacket

For Alex, the fun ended when his brilliant plan went awry and landed him on a neighbor’s lawn, crushed lawn gnome under tire, puking his guts out on an officer’s shoes. Though if you asked him, it’s nothing to get in a tizzy over. Just a lawn gnome. So what if he intended to drive across down and didn’t make it to the end of the road? No way does he need to pay for it by spending his time with someone as old, unpleasant, and abusive as Sol Lewis. No way. Too bad Judge Trent and his mother don’t agree.

With no choice but to persist, Alex does eventually learn to handle Sol, eventually developing a rapport with him, if an uneasy one. Not until he arrives late one day, an occupies himself with guitar, thus accidentally discovering Sol’s love for music, do they really begin to bond. And at this point, Alex has another brilliant idea. But this time it really is good. He’s going to hold a concert at the home, with two of his insanely musically talented classmates, who he likes to call the Cha-KINGS.

Soon Alex is in it deep. After school practicing, trying to learn to keep up with two musical gods. Off-days, visiting Sol, trying to make the most of their time together, hard as that may sometimes be. In fact, he’s begun thinking of staying on after his time is up. Even after Sol finds out he’s not been there of his own accord and they have a falling out on New Year’s Eve. Even after Sol shows him up at his own gig.

With the arrival of Valentine’s Day, the situation gets more dire. Sol, who has emphysema, has been hospitalized with pneumonia. Alex gets the news as he’s about to leave, and has no option but to go pick up his date, explain the situation, and head to the hospital. After enduring the visit, during which Sol does nothing but call her Laurie, Alex sets his date up with Laurie’s date at the dance, after arriving, filling her in, and being directed to take her to the hospital right now.

By his return visit, Sol is looking better, but Alex is beginning to be forced to face the hard truth. He won’t be around forever.

Back at the home, Sol and Alex continue their lessons, and Alex learns that Sol and the Cha-KING’s have scheduled another show for April. Alex isn’t entirely interested, but agrees on the condition that Sol will take part.

Though she didn’t attend the first time, Alex takes the chance to invite Judge Trent to the concert, and this time she accepts. A fact that is even more surprising than Alex knows.

This was a really, really fun read, and exceptionally quick. You could add it to your pile and it would be gone again before you knew it.

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One Whole and Perfect Day | Judith Clarke

Rating: ★★★★☆

book jacket

Lily Samson is sure her family is the craziest. Her brother lolls around, dropping in and out of school, unable to find a path in life. Her Pop, though she loves him, is a bona fide racist (as far as she’s concerned), her Nan has an invisible friend, her mother is fond of bringing home clients from work to stay with them, and Lily, in all her Year Ten glory, is the responsible one in the house. Her friends giggle about boys, she makes shopping lists. Her friends makes up new words, she makes dinner plans. Really, there’s most definitely something wrong here.

Lonnie,  errant brother, has moved out after a blow-out with Pop, involving an axe. Living in a Boarding House for Gentleman, and once again enrolled in school, he’s still trying to find his way. His mother, with no real way to know how he’s doing, worries. Endlessly and pointlessly, if you ask Lily.  Indeed, Lonnie nearly does repeat his cycle yet again, but a little intervention stays his hand. In fact, meeting Clara has changed the world for Lonnie, and all for the better.

Back at home, Lily has concluded she needs to fall in love. It seemed just the answer to her premature aging. And yet, once decided, she quickly changes her mind and finds the whole process of having a crush to be quite horrid. Unfortunately, she can’t go back.

She’s sure as anything that Daniel Steadman doesn’t even know she exists; across town Daniel is plagued with dreams of a mystery girl with a beautiful voice.

Waking in a frenzy one night, unable to recall the color of his mother’s eyes, Pop takes a trip to his old neighborhood at Nan’s urging. Most of it is gone, replaced with stores and shops and food all foreign to him. Worse yet, while sitting on a bench recollecting, he calls aloud a most unfortunate phrase and insults the Chinese woman who just happened to be across the way at the time. He runs for it, but determined not to take abuses anymore, she chases him down. They find in one another an unexpected friend.

Nan, feeling certain that the family needs a celebration, decides to hold a party for Pop’s eightieth birthday. A grand event, it will be! She’s just sure it will help Pop and Lonnie to reconcile. She’s been pestering Lily to try to make it happen, and to make sure Lon comes to the event. Though Lily is certain this can only end badly, what with Clara being Chinese, she does as asked.

In fact, Lily decides this party is important. Maybe the most important thing in their lives. She needs it to be a success. And because he hears this quiet desperation in his sister’s voice, Lonnie agrees. To make up, and to attend. Lily can only hope it will be the one, perfect day she feels she, and they all, deserve.

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The Hanged Man | Francesca Lia Block

Rating: ★★★★★

I’ve been an avid Block fan since a friend had me read Violet & Claire in 2001, after which I went out and bought all the books on the shelf at Barnes & Noble. Hanged Man has always been one of my favorites. It’s always struck me as odd, as it’s one of the touchier subjects, centering around molestation and repressed memories, but I suppose I felt I could identify, and her writing is just incredible.

As per usual with FLB books, her style is unique. Reality meats fantasy, poetry meets prose.

Laurel’s father has died, and she and her mother spend their days floating around one another, like ships anchored just out of reach, or at sea always passing but never meeting. The AIDS scare has begun, and Laurel worries for her friends and their wild lifestyles. Though constantly urged otherwise, she doesn’t eat. A man has been going around the valley breaking into women’s rooms, and Laurel can’t sleep, though her room is in a tower.

Phantasmic Jack haunts her dreams, appears at random at parties, on the streets. It’s he who eventually helps her to break free of her internal bars, to let go of everything held inside. Only after this point can she and her mother then confront what’s been between them for so long.

Laurel’s emotional journey will likely resonate with many, even if they can’t relate to her specific circumstances. The language alone makes it worth the read. I have a handful of favorite authors, but I’ve still yet to find anyone who can out-style Francesca Lia Block.

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His Dark Materials, Book 2: The Subtle Knife | Philip Pullman

Rating: ★★★★☆

The Subtle Knife Cover

I originally started re-reading this series when I first saw The Golden Compass preview on TV. Since it has come to annoy me, as having recently read the book again, I can tell they’ve altered the story. Unfortunately, I put down The Subtle Knife for a long time while concentrating on school books and other reads. Surprisingly, picking it up again after a long span of time, I was able to jump right back in, and it was every bit as compelling. But it does make reviewing it a little harder.

We pick up Lyra’s story just after she’s gone into the hole in the sky created by her father, intent on finding him and putting a stop to whatever he’s doing. Instead of finding Lord Asriel, however, she finds herself in a beautiful city inhabited by only children. Some invisible menace known as Specters has driven off, or killed, all the adults.

A series of events conspire to unite Lyra with Will, a boy who grew up in an Oxford very much like, and very different from, her own. Will is searching for his father, missing for 12 years. Lyra has vowed to help him. Along the way of course comes the unexpected trouble of having the alethiometer stolen by and old man who turns out to be someone Lyra has already had a run-in with, the police looking for both she and Will, brokering a deal to go after a mysterious knife, only to find out it’s incredibly powerful and has deemed Will its new master.

It’s a very fast read, with never a dull moment. Any Pullman fan or Potter fan yet to read His Dark Materials will find plenty to like. And you’ll certainly be left wanting to know how it will all end.

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Beige | Cecil Castellucci

Rating: ★★★½☆

Beige

When Katy Ratner discovers she’ll be spending two weeks of her summer with her father, The Rat, instead of in Peru with her mother, she’s not happy about it. But she figures she can deal.

Shortly after arriving at the airport she changes her mind. Upon arrival at the Rat’s apartment she knows she can’t do this. Mess, everywhere. Her room, she can tell he tried with her room. Except it’s still not her. She pleads with her mother via text messages, but apparently her seriousness has such an edge to it that it comes across as a joke. She doesn’t know how to point out the mistake.

Then comes an even bigger kick in the face. Her two weeks are actually going to be the whole summer. Her mother’s on to something in Peru. Something huge. And she wants to stay. Katy wants to be there, be part of the team she’s always been included in. But she doesn’t say that either.

And so it is. She’s stuck in California, looking and feeling out of place, trying to understand this world of people for whom music is everything. For her, music is mostly just noise. Or a good background. If it’s the right music. Which makes staying with her drummer father a real dilemma. And being baby-sat by the bribed daughter of the Rat’s band-mate, Sam Suck, more of a dilemma. Even Garth Skater, pretty enough to be a girl without his helmet on, gets it. He promises to make her a mix CD, by way of introduction to the scene.

True to his word, he delivers the CD while Lake is visiting. Katy isn’t interested until Lake points out that it’s actually a good mix. Then it starts to seem worth it.

Slowly, Katy starts to feel less Beige…or at least that Beige isn’t a bad thing to be. She starts to understand her dad. And his girlfriend, Trixie, proves to be a good friend. Even Lake isn’t all hardness, like she seems. And even music starts to make its own kind of sense.

As summer draws to a close, leaving Beige with one more huge obstacle and disappointment to get through, she knows she can do it. It really will be OK. She has a place in this world, and she doesn’t have to take it quietly. Maybe she is her father’s daughter; and that’s not a bad thing to be.

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Dairy Queen | Catherine Gilbert Murdock

Rating: ★★★★☆

Dairy Queen

I read this book while on vacation in Vermont, which seemed really appropriate, even if the book was set in Wisconsin.

D.J., at 15, doesn’t have the world’s most pleasant life. Her two older brother’s have left the house, after a fight with their dad, and dad’s got a bum leg, so it’s up to D.J. to run the farm. She gets occasional help from her younger brother, but he’s big into sports, which come first. And just when she thinks it can’t get any worse, the rival football team QB shows up in her driveway. He was sent, it turns out, to help. Since he doesn’t want to be there, and D.J. doesn’t want him there, you can imagine how it goes.

When his coach, her dad’s best friend, comes by later, she bluntly explains that she think Brian needs a trainer, not a job. Apparently the coach agrees, and suddenly D.J. finds herself in a situation even more unexpected than she began with. She and Brian both reluctantly agree to give it a shot, and by the end of the week have grown quite comfortable with each other.

In the meantime, D.J. has also thought up another plan. After realizing how much she really does know about football, and how much fun she’s had training with Brian, she wants to play. Since she doesn’t know if it’s even possible, she keeps it to herself.

Her mother, a member of the School Board, finds out first, since the Coach brought it up in a meeting. Awkward, to say the least, but she promises to keep the secret. Brian finds out in an even worse manner, on the first day of practice, and her dad finds out last. All of which spurs D.J. to action, calling her brother Bill for the first time since the big fight.

Underlying all the ball, is a pretty insightful look into families and their dysfunctions and how easy some of them can be to avoid.

If you’re looking for a nice light read with a lot of laughs, this one’s for you.

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The Center of Winter | Marya Hornbacher

Rating: ★★★★☆

Center of Winter

This is not the book to read if you’re looking for a happy story. Which isn’t to say that it doesn’t end well, but it’s not going to leave you feeling uplifted and light.

Set in small town Minnesota, this is the story of a family. A mother who never quite wanted to be, a father who can’t quite get it right, and isn’t happy enough with what he has, a son who gets lost inside himself, and a daughter just trying to keep up. The story is told from ever side, each looking a little different.

Claire speaks to trying to cope first with a drunk, depressed husband, and then to life without him. Esau speaks to his time in the hospital, and to trying to cope with life outside of it. Kate speaks to all of it. Her missing brother, her lost father, her mother, lost in a different way. Trying to fit the pieces together.

The book is beautifully written, and seeing the story unfold through three sets of very separate eyes is…for sudden lack of a better term, eye-opening, to say the least. Fans of Hornbacher’s memoir will likely enjoy her foray into ficiton, as will anyone who appreciates a good book.

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Magic or Madness, Book Three: Magic’s Child | Justine Larbalestier

Rating: ★★★★★

Magic's Child

Also not a book to jump into without having read its predecessors, Magic’s Child finds Reason Cansino wondering how her life could have changed so much in the span of two weeks. Her mother’s still locked up, she no longer hates her grandmother, Esmeralda, though she still doesn’t trust her, she has two close friends, a bundle of crazy new magic, and to ice the cake, she’s pregnant.

Of course, she’s just days pregnant, but Esmeralda saw it with her magic. Her friends Jay-Tee and Tom are sure that her creepy ancestor did it to her, while giving her his magic, but Reason and Esmeralda known the truth: the father is Jay-Tee’s brother, Danny, who Reason spent the night with in New York. She figures she needs to tell him, and head through the door to do just that. Only she catches him about ready to head out to catch a plane, on his way to visit them in Australia. And she can’t do it. Which turns out to be good, at least as far as Danny’s concerned, since he tells her that the other night shouldn’t have happened, and while he really likes her, she’s too young.

Back in Australia, a surprise visit from a Social Worker leaves Reason feeling ill at ease, since she’s sure her friends did more harm than good in trying to help her out. She’s also not looking forward to the academic testing she knew nothing about but is scheduled for in mere days.

Things take further turns for the worse as Reason goes to rescue her mother only to find she’s been kidnapped by Jason Blake, aka Alexander, aka her evil grandfather. En route to find them, Jay-Tee nearly dies, throwing one more wrench in the works. And overriding it all is the fact that Reason is changing, and incredibly fast. In a span of days she’s ceased needing to eat, can no longer feel hot or cold, has lost her hair, and to top it all off, glows. Her main struggle becomes that of humanity. To stay in the heavy, dull world she’s known her whole life, or to disappear into the world of magic: all lights and space and nothingness.

Can she save her friends and family before it’s too late? Will she stay in the world with them, and her daughter, or complete the change and become what Raul Cansino had in mind for her. If it is what he had in mind when he chose her over the rest of her family, to be the one to receive his gift.

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Ordinary Ghosts | Eireann Corrigan

Rating: ★★★★☆

Ordinary Ghosts

Dead mother. Missing brother. Distant Dad. Difficult school. That about sums up life as Emil Simon knows it. So you can understand how being in possession of a supposed Master Key to his school would tempt him. With nothing else really going for him, how could he not want to know? And with his father heading out of town for a week on a business, what better time than to find out?

The first time he unlocks the main door on campus, Emil feels a little dread. But he gets over it quickly. He finds that campus at night feels more like home than home does. And with his little setup in the attic, he takes to spending more time there than at home.

He reads in the library, spends a few nights in the archives, peruses some faculty offices. But his best find is really an accident. Noticing lights, he heads to the Art Building, and stumbles upon his art teacher’s daughter. Which leads to a wealth of lies, as he doesn’t know what to say or how to explain the truth of his situation. That aside, things seem to be going quite well, and Emil can’t believe his luck.

Which runs out when his best friend’s mother realizes he’s been home alone, calls one night, heads over to see why he didn’t answer, realizes he’s not there, and calls his father. Not good.

But when Emil’s father arrives home and they sit down to talk, Emil finds out he’s not the only one who’s been lying. Apparently he’s been at the receiving end of some whoppers himself. And he doesn’t like the feeling. Which leads him to the realization that he has to come clean with Jade. Jade, as it happens, has put a lot of his story together already. And while not pleased with the lies, she does agree to a road trip. One final excursion into the world of breaking all the rules.

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